Say “please,” say “thank you,” and say “I love you” often. Here’s how to teach manners to toddlers and preschoolers: say the words to them first.
Children are great copycats. They copy our words, our tone and even the way we sigh. So the best way to teach good manners isn’t a lecture. It’s saying “please” and “thank you” to them, every day.
What it means for your child
Here’s what kind words can look like at each age.
- Babies: They can’t say the words yet, but they hear them. Say “thank you” when they hand you something, and “I love you” all day long.
- Toddlers: “Please” and “thank you” can start as simple signs or single words. Say them yourself, and cheer for every try.
- Preschoolers: They can learn to say “excuse me,” “sorry” and “thank you” on their own. Gentle reminders tend to work better than scolding.
- School-age kids: Big kids notice when grown-ups don’t follow their own rules. Say “please” to them, too, and apologize when you mess up.
Try this tonight
Tonight, be the example.
- At dinner, say “please” and “thank you” to your child every time you ask for something.
- When they say it, notice it: “Thank you for saying please.”
- At bedtime, say “I love you” and one reason why.
Words you can use
- “Thank you for helping me.”
- “Could you please pass the milk?”
- “I love you, and I love how kind you are.”
At Nana’s Place
Nana’s Place offers care for children ages 6 weeks to 12 years at two Glendale buildings, during the day, in the evening and overnight. Good manners and kind words matter to us. Book a tour and say hello.
Questions parents ask
At what age should kids say please and thank you?
There’s no exact age. Start saying the words to them early, and they’ll often start copying. Toddlers may need a little reminder, and that’s fine.
Should I make my child apologize?
A forced “sorry” doesn’t mean much. Help them notice how the other person feels, then ask what they could do to help. Show them how by saying sorry yourself.
Words matter. Read Kind words are like sunshine, and remember that the best lessons are taught with a smile.
