“Big feelings are welcome here. We help little hearts find their words.”
— Nana
Big feelings are welcome here. If you’re looking for how to help a toddler with big feelings, start with one simple step: name the feeling.
Mad, sad, scared, excited, sometimes all in one afternoon. Little ones don’t have the words yet, so feelings come out as tears, yelling or a flop on the floor. Our job as grown-ups is to help little hearts find their words.
What it means for your child
Here’s how feelings show up at each age, and how you can help.
- Babies: They show feelings by crying, fussing and reaching for you. When you pick them up and talk softly, you’re showing them what comfort feels like.
- Toddlers: Feelings come fast and hard, with few words to use. Stay close and say it for them: “You’re mad. You wanted the red cup.”
- Preschoolers: They’re learning words like frustrated, nervous and proud. Read books about feelings and talk about how the characters feel.
- School-age kids: Now they can talk about what happened and plan what to try next time. Listen first, then solve it together.
Try this tonight
Tonight, if a big feeling shows up, try these three steps.
- Get down low, stay close and keep your voice calm.
- Name what you see: “You’re frustrated the tower fell.”
- When they’re calm, offer a next step: “Want to build it again together?”
Words you can use
- “You’re really sad. I’m right here.”
- “It’s okay to be mad. It’s not okay to hit. Let’s stomp our feet instead.”
- “That was a big feeling, and you got through it.”
At Nana’s Place
At Nana’s Place, big feelings are welcome. We care for children from 6 weeks to 12 years old at our two Glendale buildings, with day, evening and overnight care, and we help little hearts find their words. If you’d like to see our space and meet us, book a tour.
Questions parents ask
How do I calm my toddler during a tantrum?
Stay calm and stay close. Keep them safe, use just a few words and wait for the storm to pass. Then give a hug and name the feeling together.
Should I ignore big feelings so they stop?
You don’t have to fix every feeling. But naming it tells your child you see them. Hitting or throwing still needs a clear, calm limit.
Big feelings take patience, from them and from us, so read Patience is love that waits for little legs to catch up too. And kind words are like sunshine, especially after a hard moment.
