Hugs are free, and they fit everyone. Here’s a simple trick for hard moments like goodbyes, shots and bedtime: hug before, not just after.
Some kids want bear hugs. Some want a quick squeeze. Some want a high five now and a hug later. There’s no wrong size. What matters is the message: “I’m here, and you’re safe with me.”
What it means for your child
Hugs look different at every age.
- Babies: Being held close is everything at this age. Snuggles, rocking and gentle pats all say, “I’ve got you.”
- Toddlers: They may run into your arms or wriggle away. Offer a hug, and let them choose.
- Preschoolers: Try a “hug before hard things”: before a goodbye, before a new place, before a doctor visit.
- School-age kids: Big kids may like private hugs better than public ones. A quick side hug or a hug at bedtime still means a lot.
Try this tonight
Tonight, try a hug before a hard moment instead of after.
- Think of the hardest part of your evening, like bath time, turning off the TV or lights out.
- Right before it starts, give a long hug and say, “Here comes the hard part. I’m right here.”
- Afterward, notice what happened: “That went better, didn’t it?”
Words you can use
- “Want a hug?”
- “I’ve got you.”
- “Hugs are free, and I have lots.”
At Nana’s Place
Nana’s Place cares for little ones from 6 weeks old up to 12 years, day, evening and overnight, in two Glendale buildings. We think every child deserves to feel safe and cared for. Take a tour and see for yourself.
Questions parents ask
My child doesn’t like hugs. Is that okay?
Yes. Every child is different. Offer other ways to connect, like a high five, a fist bump, sitting close or a special wave.
Should I make my child hug relatives?
It’s kinder to let them choose. Offer options, like a hug, a wave or a high five, so they learn their body is theirs.
Hugs at pickup matter, too. There’s more on that in You’re doing great, grown-ups. And when a big feeling hits, a calm hug helps, as Nana says in Big feelings are welcome here.
