Every proud “I did it!” starts with a brave “Can I try?” Here’s how to encourage independence in toddlers, even on busy mornings.
Shoes, jackets, zippers, out the door. When you’re running late, it’s faster to do it all yourself. Nana knows. But those slow little tries are how children learn to do things on their own, and they only need a few extra minutes. Nana talked about little helpers in Little hands, big dreams.
What it means for your child
Wanting to try is a good sign. It means your child feels brave enough to learn. Here’s how it shows up.
- Babies: Trying starts early: reaching, rolling and holding their own cup. When they grab for the spoon, give them one to hold while you use another.
- Toddlers: “Me do it!” is their favorite line, and they mean it. Pulling off socks and pushing an arm into a sleeve are real wins.
- Preschoolers: They can learn to put on shoes, finish a zipper and hang up a backpack. Give them a head start, then let them finish.
- School-age kids: They can pack their own bag, lay out clothes the night before and practice tying laces. Let them own the job, even when it isn’t perfect.
Try this tonight
A calmer morning starts the night before. Try this before bed.
- Set out tomorrow’s shoes and jacket by the door, and let your child choose where they go.
- Set your alarm five minutes earlier, and save those minutes for shoes and zippers.
- In the morning, do the tricky start, like hooking the zipper, and let your child pull it up.
Words you can use
- “You try first. I’m right here if you need me.”
- “That’s tricky. Do you want help or more time?”
- “You did it! You kept trying.”
At Nana’s Place
At Nana’s Place, children from 6 weeks to 12 years old come to our two Glendale buildings for day, evening and overnight care. We think every “Can I try?” deserves a cheer. If you want to see our space and ask your own questions, book a tour.
Questions parents ask
Why does my toddler get upset when I help?
Your toddler wants to feel capable. When you jump in, it can feel like you took their turn. Try asking first: “Do you want help, or do you want to keep trying?”
How do I teach my child to put on their own shoes?
Start with easy shoes, like slip-ons or hook-and-loop straps. Sit beside them, show one step and let them do the rest. Cheer for the trying, not just the finishing.
Some mornings will still be a scramble, and that’s okay. On the days waiting feels hard, read Patience is love that waits for little legs to catch up.